that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
