and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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