Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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