Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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