ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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