I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
