so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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