Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
did you just send me my own nude
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
