well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
