I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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