I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
