He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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