It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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