One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
