Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
