Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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