afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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