dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
