Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
