I queefed so loud it echoed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
