i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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