he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
