You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
