Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
