I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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