You know, be my cock's hype man.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
