i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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