R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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