I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
