They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
