dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
