but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
