You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
