fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My first STD was from a foam party
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
