There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
