I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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