True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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