Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
