I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
