i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
