if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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