I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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