i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
