On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
