Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
