i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
