gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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