well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
