i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
