So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
