I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
